New Hampshire Gay Men's Chorus

Board Member Bio: Maureen Dastous, member at large

At-large Board member, Maureen Dastous (pronounced “das-too”) is the only female on the Board of Directors. Maureen’s cheery, pleasant demeanor is welcome in our all-male chorus. Maureen became a Board member in June, 2008. She resides in Concord, New Hampshire, with her husband, Neil Jorgensen, whom she met through an online dating service. She and Neil were married by our in-house pastoral counselor, first tenor Cal Genzel! Maureen is an Ameriprise Financial Advisor who, with her business partner, Chris Kinnane, has a financial advisory practice, Kinnane & Associates, in Bedford, New Hampshire. She is also a Chartered Retirement Planning Counselor.

Maureen is the very proud mother of three grown children — Deirdre, 34, Bryce, 31, and Brock, 28. “I usually define myself by my children,” says Maureen. “They’re all great kids, and fun too! They were amazing students, all graduated with high honors... and they’re athletic. They’re all runners: two have run in marathons and one participates in triathlons.” Last June, Maureen, now 61 — so hard to believe with her youthful presence and dazzling smile — also became a grandmother for the first time, when Deirdre, who lives in London with her British husband, Ian, gave birth to Maureen’s first grandchild, Daniel.

What are her thoughts about being the only woman? “I’ve always been the only woman! I used to work in high tech hardware and software sales, and was generally the only woman in my financial advising branch. It’s always been comfortable for me, being around guys. It’s even more comfortable being around gay guys, after dealing with straight guys all my life!"

Maureen grew up in Providence, Rhode Island. She studied pre-law, sociology, and economics at Emmanuel College in Boston, graduating in 1972. Married soon after college, she lived in Massachusetts, New Hampshire, and Canada, then in 1980 moved to Merrimack, New Hampshire. Following her first marriage, Maureen was single for 20 years, totally focused on raising the children.

An at-home parent for many years, she became the sole custodian and wage earner, encouraging and supporting the children with their academics, sports, and other activities. “My youngest is 28 now, so when he graduated from college six years ago, I started thinking, ‘Oh well, perhaps I can meet someone now, go to museums together and do social things.’ Before that time, I didn't even consider dating.”

Maureen tried some online dating services, including e-Harmony and Match.com, carefully screening men who responded to her profile, but generally with no luck. “Then Neil contacted me through Match. He was an older man, twice a widower, and I had mixed feelings about that. Very bluntly I told him, ‘You are a lot older and your women don’t last.’ He responded with honesty and humor and then suggested we meet at Barnes & Noble, and I thought that was a really nice idea! We both love books.”

The rest is history. Neil, Maureen says, is “the man of my dreams,” someone with whom she shares her passion for museums and the arts. “It’s amazing how happy we are together. I’m always asking him: ‘Pinch me! Is this real?’ We have been taking walks, chatting, laughing, entertaining, traveling, and enjoying each other every single day since we met.”

Maureen’s wedding story is rather sweet... and amusing. She calls it her “stealth wedding” because they were married secretly inside the Currier Museum of Art in Manchester in May, 2010. “I wanted it to be very small, just a few people.” She contacted the museum, but then suffered sticker shock when given the price. But Maureen was determined to get married there. “So I told Neil and Cal, ‘No, no, we’re going to sneak into the museum to do this.’” The good Rev. Cal, however, always true to the better angels of his nature, got cold feet. “He was nervous and worried that he might get in trouble for just showing up unannounced and performing the ceremony there!”

Cal eventually succumbed, and the ceremony was wonderful. The small wedding party then headed to Richard’s Bistro in Manchester, where several friends joined them for a luncheon in a private room. “A few of the chorus guys also joined us at Richard’s to sing beautiful songs for us. We had about 19 people, including our special ‘wedding singers.’”

Maureen added, “Cal is so great. Whenever Cal sees me, he asks ‘How’s Neil?’ I say, ‘He’s wonderful. You did a really good job.’ Cal is so cute. He goes around telling everybody, ‘I married Maureen and Neil!’ He did such a perfect job for us.”

Maureen became involved with NHGMC in an unusual way. “When I was a single parent, I knew my sons weren’t going to be seeing their dad, so I considered the Big Brothers program for them. I contacted Big Brothers... My younger son’s big brother, Brian, happened to be gay.” Both big brothers, she says, worked out very well for her sons and became part of the family. Maureen became acquainted with some of Brian’s friends and associates, including Timmy Dullea in the chorus. “I went to a concert, particularly to hear Timmy. And once I heard them, I loved them! I couldn’t get over them, watching them sing and watching Luc direct! It’s been one of the joys of my life.”

How did she become a member of the Board? “Timmy asked me to attend the annual banquet meeting. He wanted to nominate me for the board, and I agreed to serve if elected. I had a business meeting and would miss dinner and come later. Well, I came to the door alone, and it was absolutely the most uncomfortable thing I’ve encountered! I opened the door and here were these tables full of guys eating. No one stood up or looked at me, and no one came to greet me. I finally spotted Timmy, shoving food into his mouth. I sat down next to him, kicked him under the table, and whispered, ‘aren’t you going to introduce me to anybody?!’ I noticed someone coughing at the table, so I passed a cough lozenge down to him, and that’s how we all broke the ice and started talking.”

“My husband, Neil, has totally embraced the chorus. He enjoys everything about it, provides IT support for meetings, and hangs posters throughout Concord... He also had a lot of fun last year at the Fisher Cats game.” In June, 2010, the chorus performed a perfect arrangement of the National Anthem in front of 5000 baseball fans to kick off the game (see last year's amazing video). Maureen was contacted by the New Hampshire Fisher Cats minor league organization to arrange NHGMC’s appearance there as a local community singing group. For chorus members, it was a beautiful, fun evening. The fans, players, and staff all cheered and thanked the chorus. Though Maureen will be traveling on business when NHGMC performs there again on June 21, “Neil told me, ‘Heck yes, I’m going to the game again, even without you!’” Maureen says the “best part” about last year’s game was second tenor, David Greer, leading the cheering for the wrong team. “David was on one side of me, and he kept saying, ‘I’m so involved in this game! This is the best game I’ve ever been to!’ Unfortunately, the whole bunch of them was cheering for the other team!”

Maureen is now semi-retired and the practice name has changed to Kinnane & Associates as her responsibilities decrease. “I love that work. I’ve done it for the past nine years, have fabulous clients, but now I’m doing mostly marketing to bring in new clients. It’s been very rewarding, determining our clients’ financial goals and helping achieve them and be able to enjoy their retirements. My practice partner, Chris Kinnane, is a wonderful advisor and is taking on most of the work now.”

Included in Maureen’s interests: International travel. “My children also love to travel, and they all have a world view, which I think is important.” She also loves the theater. She supports the Peacock Players and the Actorsingers of Nashua and the Capitol Center for the Arts in Concord. Maureen serves on the Board of Directors for New Hampshire Theater Awards, which sponsors a big annual awards event at the Palace Theater, Manchester. She’s also on the Board of the Independent Karate School (IKS) Scholarship Fund, Nashua. “My children all studied at IKS. We typically give a $10,000 scholarship to a student each year. These kids often start at the school when they’re quite young and become Black Belts at a very young age. My daughter was a Black Belt at age 12 as was my son, Bryce. By the time they go to college, they’re very well disciplined in the martial arts.” She also loves museums, small museums in particular, like the Currier, to which she and Neil belong, as well as the Ogunquit Museum of American Art.

Some of her favorite recent movies are The King’s Speech and Barney’s Version. Her favorite musical is Phantom of the Opera, Andrew Lloyd Webber. Other favorites include: Rent, Fiddler on the Roof, and Cats. Recently she and Neil saw the Peacock Players in Our Town by Thornton Wilder. “I haven’t seen that since I was a young person, and I almost embarrassed us because in the third act, which shows people dead in the cemetery, I sat there sobbing. I’m tough, but could not stop sobbing. I was so loud I thought I might interfere with the play! And I couldn’t leave because actors come in through the aisles.”

Her favorite types of music: “I enjoy hip hop, rap, classical, and contemporary... I made it a point around 1990 to listen to contemporary music, and not be one of those adults who thinks today’s music is junk, because for parents, it’s an easy way to alienate yourself from the young people. To young people, there’s nothing as important as their music. Older folks often think what kids listen to doesn’t make sense. I wanted to be able to communicate with my children.”

And... Maureen also loves to sing. In high school, she belonged to a singing group called the Four Seasons. But she says singing the Hallelujah Chorus in high school was the only time she sung harmonic parts under a music director. “What Luc does with you guys, with the different choral parts and harmonies, is amazing! It’s fabulous to watch! I like anything that’s set to music, like musical theater.” She also has enjoyed a few evenings of song and fun at The Front Porch piano bar in Ogunquit, Maine!

Maureen also loves to read. Right now her favorite author is Jodi Picoult, a New Hampshire native, who has seventeen best sellers, including Sing You Home, which addresses gay rights, reproductive sciences, and the Christian Right. Maureen went to hear her speak about Sing You Home, as well as her other books, on April 6. “She was a fantastic presenter... very inspiring and supportive of gay rights.”

Maureen was determined to win tickets from a local radio station to see the Capital Center for the Arts presentation of the play, Spring Awakening. “I had radios on all over the house... I was caller number six and I won! I saw it in London two years ago and it was nice to see this locally.”

Her favorite foods: “I like fine dining, vegetables, and fruits, and love Italian. But when I travel I’ll try whatever!” Her favorite color is blue.

For Maureen, it all comes back to her highly accomplished children, sharing their lives and interests. Deirdre graduated from Bates College, Maine, and works for Thomson Reuters as head of IR, Commercial, EMEA. Bryce graduated from Tufts University, lives in San Diego with his Irish wife, Michelle (from Belfast), and is a Senior International Treasury Analyst with Motorola Mobility. Brock is single, graduated from Bentley College, lives in Tempe, Arizona, and is a Manager of Financial Planning and Analysis for Beazer Homes. Brock is also a high-powered bicyclist. “When he was 20, he bicycled from New Hampshire to San Francisco, and now he participates in other adventurous things! Neil and I did a Western tour including the Grand Canyon last fall. A week before, Brock had been there, leading a running tour, rim to rim to rim in the canyon. They ran down the canyon, then up to the north rim and then back to the south rim — a forty-eight mile run!”

As for her new grandson, Daniel, living in London: “Hmm, I suspect he will be speaking with a British accent.”

Her favorite NHGMC moment: Hearing the breakout chorus group sing at her wedding luncheon. She also loved the “really, really fabulous” performance of Christmas Conga, the encore at our Winter 2010 series, Holly Jolly Holiday. “When everybody did the Christmas Conga, I got so much joy out of it. It was so much fun!” While singing the “conga,” chorus members wore festive holiday hats and played “conga” instruments, as bass Glen Flowers, first tenor Santos Torres, and baritones Paul Cioto and Scott Nickles sang and danced in the aisles. "I also absolutely love it when we are out at a restaurant with the chorus or a group of members and they break into song. Everyone in the place turns to look, smile and enjoy. The first time I encountered this was after a winter concert in a Nashua restaurant, several years ago. As the guys put on their coats, hats and scarves, they started singing. The restaurant turned off its music system and I felt as though we were inside a Holiday movie. What fun!"

Her thoughts about NHGMC: “It’s all good! I absolutely enjoy everything to do with the chorus, even the drama! Watching you practice in rehearsals is even amazing! It’s like home to me, since the chorus has always been so welcoming. I adore the concerts and just love the product of everybody’s hard work. I think this past winter’s concerts were the best ever... I’ve always been gay-friendly... I sometimes think, ‘How brave to stand up under the banner, New Hampshire Gay Men’s Chorus.’ Even now people ask me, ‘Why do they have to call themselves that?’ and I say, ‘Why shouldn’t they?!’ It’s an organization for singing and socializing, a bunch of gay guys. So now I go around saying, ‘Yay! NHGMC!’”

The main theme that’s governed Maureen’s life: Integrity. “I live a life of integrity, stay true to my beliefs, and am extremely loyal to the people and organizations with which I’ve been involved.”

Support Us: